Zim's New Slave
by Sanoon
Summary: Zim recieves a letter from New Jersey about a very rare offer. After which, an incredibly funny adventure ensues. An Invader Zim and Aqua Teen Hunger Force crossover. Finished!
1. The Letter

Sup everyone, I'm back with a great idea for the greatest comedy ever! If you haven't seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then you might not understand the story. But I feel this will turn out to be a great success.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I don't own anything.

* * *

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 1: The Letter

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

Dr. Weird was standing in his lab, contemplating what his next great invention would be, when his garage door opened up. Inside was a small droid, about three feet high. Its cyan eyes gleaming with happiness as it punched itself in the head, laughing the whole time.

Dr. Weird looked in strange awe at what he saw. He didn't remember building this thing, but then again, his memory wasn't very reliable. "What the hell are you?" Dr. Weird asked.

"My name's GIR," the small robot said back. "My master is stuck in a rock."

Dr. Weird dropped his jaw, and then yelled over to the other side of the lab, "Steve, come look at what I made when I was drunk! It's incredible!"

"Good job doc." Steve said after walking over to Dr. Weird. "So ahh, what is it?"

"I don't know! It just came here!" Dr. Weird replied.

"I…thought you said you made it?" Steve asked, confused at what Dr. Weird said.

"Ugh, yea. I did!" Dr. Weird replied, and then threw his head back in laughter.

"I'm going to make mud pies now!" GIR shouted. He waved goodbye to the two strange humans, and flew out of the building where the large Rabbot hole was.

* * *

"To Mike Howard, 435 Drove St. Nevada." Shake said to himself to as he wrote out the last letter address. "There, 300 letters. Someone ought a buy him now." 

"Buy who?" Meatwad asked as he rolled into the room.

"Nothin squirt. It was something else. You wouldn't know anything about it," Shake replied, hiding the letters in a bag. "I'm going to the post office to mail these letters." After which, Shake left the house.

"Have fun Shake," Meatwad yelled from the doorway.

"Ohh I will," Shake yelled back. "Trust me on that."

* * *

Three days later, whereever the hell Zim lives

* * *

"MASTER, MASTER, MASTER," GIR yelled as he ran into the living room. Zim was sitting in the kitchen eating some snax. 

"What is it GIR," Zim asked, already annoyed at what the answer might be.

"You got mail," GIR said, running into the kitchen with the letters in his mouth.

"MAIL," Zim yelled. "Who would send me mail…unless…ohh no, someone knows about our mission, and they're writing for our surrender!"

"Actually," GIR said. "It's from South Jersey. Its about a slave sale."

"WHAT!" Zim yelled. "A slave sale, what a perfect way to…wait. How do you know, GIR?"

Welllll," GIR said. "I already read the letter."

"YOU READ MY MAIL!" Zim yelled.

GIR nodded his head and started laughing. "It was funny. Come on piggy, lets go play in the mud!" GIR yelled, pulling a pig out of his head compartment.

Before GIR could run off, Zim managed to grab the letters out of GIR's mouth. He unfolded the paper, and read the letter.

* * *

Dear whoever this is, 

It may interest you that I have a very good deal in the human-meat thing market. For as little as $12.00, you too can own your very own slave. That's right, your very own slave. All you have to do is be the first to send a reply to my address. (It's on the front for anyone not retarded enough to know.) Please do this, because I want $12.00.

Sincerely,  
Master Shake

* * *

Zim looked up from the letter with glee. "A slave, maybe one more competent than GIR. I MUST HAVE IT!" Zim yelled. He ran to his computer, and typed up a reply. He would have this slave, and he would have it soon. 

After Zim was finished, he put the reply in an envelope, and looked around for GIR. He was still busy messing around in the mud. "GIR!" Zim yelled. GIR jumped up, ran into the house door, opened the house door,and ran towards Zim. "GIR, I want you to mail this letter, and dispose of the original letter."

GIR's cyan color changed to red, and he saluted his master. "Yes, my lord!" his red color quickly reverted back to its original cyan color. He smiled, grabbed both letters, and ran out the door.

Outside, GIR looked at the letter he was supposed to destroy. He threw it in his mouth, chewed on it, and spit it into the trashcan. He then put the other letter in the mailbox. After he completed these simple tasks, he jumped back into the mud pit.

* * *

A few days later, Zim received Shakes reply. He won the slave. After jumping in glee, he loaded up his voot runner, and left for New Jersey. 

Dib was hiding in the bushes, and watched as the voot runner took off…in broad daylight. Dib shook his head at the people who didn't even notice the alien ship quickly fly overhead.

Dib slid out of the bushes, and crawled over to the trashcan. He ripped the lid off, and started rummaging through it like a small child on Christmas day. After a few minutes of sifting through worn out piggy dolls, Dib found a letter. It was slightly damp, but he knew it must be something big. He unfolded it and read through the letter. He gasped at what it said. "A slave. Zim wants a human slave. He's more evil than I imagined. I have to find the address so I can find him and stop him before it's too late." Dib looked back into the trashcan and started to rummage through it again. After a few seconds he lifted his head back up. "Was I talking to myself again? I really need to stop doing that."

After a few more minutes of a degrading hobo-like search through Zim's garbage, he found the address. He knew what he had to do. He needed to get to New Jersey, and stop Zim before a human life was ruined.

* * *

The end of chapter one. Hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Chapter two will be up very soon, seeing as I have nothing else to do, I will be writing until its completion. Please review, for my sanity. 

Submitted 12/23/05


	2. Claiming The Prize

Sup everyone. My second chapter is up, and I think you will enjoy it. ENJOY IT…starting…no…no…no…no…no…now!

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I do, however, own the soap in my bathroom. STAY AWAY FROM IT!

* * *

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 2: Claiming the Prize

It was, again, another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

Steve was standing alone in the lab, waiting for Dr. Weird to show up. He was a bit late today. Steve was starting to daydream about when he would be the lead scientist, and he would have someone to boss around. He was taken away from his little fantasy world when Dr. Weird came running into the lab shouting,

"RUN STEVE, RUN!"

"What?" Steve asked, confused at what Dr. Weird was trying to tell him.

"RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!" Dr. Weird yelled.

Steve started to run. He continued running till he was at the bridge that led off to a secret portion of the lab. The bridge was old, and very weak. If that wasn't bad enough, it was storming out, and the water below was very rough, not to mention the sharp rocks. But, Steve didn't stop. He continued on the bridge, and it snapped, sending Steve to the raging sea.

Meanwhile, after Steve ran out of the lab, Dr. Weird walked over to one of the many computers and said, "Finally, I can use the internet for what it was really meant for." Dr. Weird lifted his head back when he laughed, and he then moved the mouse and clicked on the Internet symbol. The Internet opens up and starts to display Asian porn.

* * *

Knock, knock, knock came the noise from the cup-shaped door. Shake opened the door, and looked around. He didn't see anything. But then, he heard some strange sound below him. He looked down and saw a small green creature with a horrible hairstyle and large beady eyes, staring at him. "Whad'ya want?" Shake asked. 

Instead of a reply, the small creature screamed.

Shake screamed back at him, not in fear, but in a mocking, angry way. After they both stopped, Shake frowned, and said. "There! Do you like it when people scream at you?"

"You…look…so…creeeeepy," Zim said, after recovering from the shock of seeing a giant milkshake-cup thing.

"I'm creepy!" Shake yelled. "Have you looked at yourself recently. Green must be a natural color now."

"It's a skin condition," Zim said in defense.

"Yea, right, and I'm your mother," Shake replied.

"HEY!" Zim yelled. "DO NOT INSULT THE GREAT ZIM, HUMAN…cup thing!" Zim yelled.

"WOW!" Shake said, laughing. "You're the biggest loser ever. Go back to loserville, loser."

"Do not insult ZIM!" Zim yelled again.

Shake stopped laughing for a few seconds. "Wait a minute. Zim. You're the one who wants to buy Meatwad."

"Yes deformed cup-thing. I am here to collect my prize," Zim said, calming himself down.

"Yea, he's right in here. Come on in, but don't touch anything, or I'll get someone to hurt you."

Zim slowly entered the house, and jumped when he saw a giant meatball watching TV.

"Meatwad!" Shake yelled. "Time for that trip I was talking about."

"Alright, field trip," Meatwad said from the chair. "The bus is finally here?"

"Yea," Shake said, laughing. "The bus is here."

"It's about damn time," Meatwad said. "I've been waiting for four days. I wanna go on a field trip." Meatwad jumped off of the chair, and rolled over to the door. He stopped to look at Zim. "Who's this?" he asked.

"He's the camp counselor," Shake said, laughing. "Have fun buddy."

"Alright, wait. I need to pack my things," Meatwad said. "I'll be a few minutes." He rolled of into the hallway to pack his things.

"You better hurry, Meatwad," Shake said. "Or else the bus will leave, and you'll miss the trip."

"NOOO!" Meatwad yelled from the other room.

"Excuse me cup-thing," Zim said. "Where is my slave?"

"That was him," Shake said, laughing. "He's yours, for $12.00."

"That thing!" Zim yelled. "It isn't fit to serve this mighty Irken invader!" Zim yelled, then hit himself when he realized what he said.

"Irken?" Shake asked, laughing. "What is that, you're Boy Scout troop?"

"NO, you PITIFUL Earth stink!" Zim yelled. After a few minutes of thought, he reached into his pocket. He pulled out $12.00 and threw it at the giant cup. "Take your PATHETIC Earth monies."

"You don't have to be a jackass about it," Shake said, picking up the money on the floor.

At that moment, GIR jumped through the window. His dog disguise was on. For safety reasons, Zim had ordered GIR to remain in the voot runner. Clearly GIR listens to Zim. "MASTER!" GIR yelled. "I found a peanut!"

"GIR!" Zim yelled.

At that time, Meatwad came back out holding Duey, Vinessa, and Boxy Brown. "I'm ready to…is that a dog?" Meatwad said with joy. "I always wanted a dog!" Meatwad rolled over to GIR and hugged him.

GIR returned the hug, and said, "I love youuuu."

"Ya hear that," Meatwad said. "Dis dog likes me."

"GIR! Stop touching the new slave," Zim yelled as Shake said,

"What, are you kidding? He's probably going to die now because of your meat germs. Ya know, you should be ashamed of yourself for killing an innocent puppy. Now his owner is going to come over here and arrest you, and do you know what's going to happen then? That's right, you'll go to jail, and then everyone will laugh at you."

"NOOOOOOOO!" Meatwad yelled.

"ENOUGH!" Zim yelled. He yelled so loud, in fact, that the sound broke the other window that GIR didn't jump through. "Can we just go now?" This was all too much for Zim to try and think about. He just wanted to leave as quickly as possible, with his new slave. Even though he seemed calm…ish, he was very nervous. He had never seen anything like those creatures before him. The only reason he could keep his cool, was that he had had a very long time to practice for situations…close to this.

"Ohh, yea, lets get going. I want to go to camp," Meatwad said. He rolled over to Zim and grabbed his hand, and said in the process, "Can you hold my hand to the bus, cause, ya know, there's demons out there."

Zim yelled in pain as Meatwad's meaty hand burned his green skin though the gloves. "DON'T TOUCH ME MEAT DEMON," Zim yelled as he knocked Meatwad's hand away.

Meatwad started to cry. It was a strange, high pitch cry. GIR hugged Meatwad to try to cheer him up, and it worked. Meatwad almost stopped instantly.

"Ohh, look at the time," Shake said. "Ya know, you guys should leave before Frylock comes home."

"But I didn't get to say goodbye to him," Meawad said in a sad voice.

"Don't worry," Shake said, "I'll tell him you said goodbye."

"Really," Meatwad said. "Thanks Shake."

"Ahem."

"Ohh sorry. Thanks Master Shake."

"That's better."

"Excuse me," Zim said, extremely annoyed. "Can, we just leave now. I have many important things to do."

* * *

It only took a few more minutes to get Meatwad out of the house. Outside, Zim, GIR, and Meatwad were heading to the side of the house to enter Zim's voot runner. They were stopped when Meatwad's neighbor walked over to them. 

"Hey Carl," Meatwad said.

"Who's this," Carl said, pointing towards Zim. "Your frikin' boyfriend."

"Naw Carl," Meatwad said. "He's my camp…camp…camp."

"Overlord," Zim finished for him.

"Yea, camp overlord," Meatwad said.

"Enough human!" Zim yelled. "I'm tired of waiting. I want to get my new slave home."

"What, you mean him," Carl said, pointing towards Meatwad.

"Yes human, _him_," Zim said, angrily

"Frikin' awesome," Carl said, almost laughing. "But before you do, I need a few minutes with him."

Fine, fine," Zim said. "Make it quick."

"All right meat man," Carl said with a deep annoyance in his voice after they moved to the front of his house. "Tell me this one simple thing."

"K', shoot," Meatwad said.

"Why…ohh why, are there penguins in my living room? Cause I know you had something to do with this."

"Aww Carl, don't worry, they just need a place to crash after their escape from the zoo, ya know what I mean?" Meatwad asked.

"No, I don't," Carl said.

"Well, they just need a nice place to live for a short time, before they can, ya know, adjust to city society," Meatwad said calmly

"Super," Carl said, placing his hand on his forehead.

"They like water too," Meatwad said almost as an after thought.

"I am soooo pissed off right now," Carl said.

"Slave, lets go," Zim said from the voot runner.

"One second camp lord," Meatwad said from Carl's yard.

"Hey, I got another question for you," Carl said, heading over to the strange alien ship that was parked halfway on his side of the lawn.

"What is it human?" Zim asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well, what planet did you come from? Cause you ain't from here."

"WHAT!" Zim shouted "What gave away my impressive disguise?"

"Yea, everyone around here has green skin," Carl said, sarcastically.

"It's a skin condition," Zim said in defense.

"Of course it is," Carl said sarcastically. "You're like the millionth person I've seen with green skin."

"That's not what you look like?" Meatwad asked as he rolled around the voot cruiser with his dollies.

"You must never tell anyone, or I will crush your FILTHY skull into a million pieces!" Zim yelled.

"I couldn't care less that you're an alien," Carl said, almost laughing. "You think you're the first. Ugh-ugh. You not even close to as freaky as the other ones."

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow at Carl, shrugged off his comment, and turned to get in his voot runner, when GIR jumped onto the back of his head, shouting random comments. One of Zim's contacts fell out, and his wig fell off when GIR rubbed his head. "GIR, GET OFF, NOW!" Zim yelled

"Is this a wig," Meatwad asked. "Can I eat it?"

"I knew you weren't human," Carl said. "These eyes are horrible," Carl said, picking up the contact. "If you want, I can give my bud Terry a call, for a price."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled. "ENOUGH! Can we just go?" Carl tossed the contact over to Zim, which he quickly picked up. He then picked up the wig that Meatwad was about to eat. He put these items back on, and got back into his voot runner. GIR jumped in, followed by Meatwad. "I would kill you human, but I really don't want to be here any longer than I have to." With that, the voot runner took off into the air, and disappeared into the distance.

"Whatever," Carl said to himself. He walked to his front door when a taxicab stopped outside his house. The door opened up, and a small boy exited the car. He was wearing glasses and his hair was formed into a strange scythe style. He wore a large black trench coat, and black jeans. The most noticeable thing was his large head.

"Have you seen a small green boy named Zim?" He shouted to Carl after he got out of the cab.

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 2. I'll probably get around to Chapter 3 very quickly. Thanks all for reading. R&R. I LOVE writing Carl's lines. 

Next chapter: Frylock comes home, and…well, you'll just have to wait to find out.

Published 12/24/05

Time to thank those who cared.

Penname wa Silver B – This is what you always wanted? Then prepare to get you're fulfillment. Thanks for the review

SavPixie – No, that was just pointless rant. Zim had no rock problems.

And the biggest person I'd like to thank would be:

AnimeFreak84 – Thank you for your reviews and continuous words of encouragement.:) Am I spared from Toyota Camry's wrath?


	3. The Search Party and the Crash

Sup everyone, and prepare… for extreme craziness. (Actually, you guys are lucky. I was originally going to have the ATHF intro song in every chapter. I decided against it.) R&R. Sorry about the long wait, but I got in trouble with the site so I had to wait before I could post anything. I bumped up the rating because of what will be said in this chapter.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Same old, same old.

"See these medals on my chest? They all say, "I'm better than you"." – Me

* * *

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 3: The Search Party and the Crash

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy. (That's right, every chapter will start just like this.)

"Gentlemen, behold. Even _more_ corn!" Dr. Weird said as the giant garage door opened up, revealing a table with corn on it.

"You're kidding right?" Steve asked.

"Ahh…no. C'mon Steve, eat up," Dr. Weird said with a fake smile.

"I remember what happened the last two times," Steve said, backing away from the table.

"But this time will be different," Dr. Weird said, with the same fake smile on his face.

"Ahh…no. I'm pretty sure this will be the same,' Steve said, remembering the previous two times.

"But this time, it _will_ be different," Dr. Weird said, laughing.

"Ahh…screw that," Steve said as he left the room.

"NO! Steve, come back," Dr. Weird shouted at the door that Steve left through.

"_You said he would fall for it again,_" said a voice that originated from the corn pile.

"Who are you?" Dr. Weird said, surprised. After he said that, four pieces of corn impaled Dr. Weird and threw him against the back wall.

"_Let the mating begin!"_ The voice said.

* * *

"Have you seen a small green boy named Zim?" Dib shouted after he got out of the cab. 

"A small green boy," Carl said. "Yea, he just left, in his 'frickin spaceship, or whatever."

"NOOO!" Dib yelled. "I'm too late."

* * *

"Shake, Meatwad," Frylock said when he got home. "Shake…Meatwad. Where are you?" 

"I'm in your room Frylock," Shake said from the other room.

"I thought I told you not to go in my room," Frylock said to Shake while he floated over to his room. Just as always, Frylock was annoyed that Shake went into his room without permission.

"Hey, while you're here, can you tell me your account name for Ebay?" Shake said casually.

"W-Why?" Frylock asked.

"Well, I need to sell all of Meatwad's things," Shake said while picking upMeatwad's boom box.

"What!" Frylock shouted. "No, those are Meatwad's things, not yours. Where is Meatwad anyway?"

"He's at camp," Shake said casually without looking away from the computer.

"What do you mean camp, because last time you said he went to camp, you sold him to a circus," Frylock said angrily.

"Frylock…come on…that's not important," Shake said, laughing casually.

"Where is he?" Frylock yelled. He wasn't completely shocked. This obviously wasn't the first time Shake did something like this to Meatwad.

"He's…somewhere," Shake said, uncaringly.

"WHERE?" Frylock shouted.

"I sold him," Shake said uncaringly.

"WHAT?" Frylock shouted in surprise. "Again?"

"You heard me," Shake said throwing the boom box on the ground. It exploded upon impact, as everything that Shake throws does. "Don't act like you didn't. You have ears. Use 'em."

"Who'd you sell him to, Shake?" Frylock asked Shake with anger in his voice.

"I don't know," Shake said uncaringly.

"Shake," Frylock said angrily, "Who did you sell him to?"

"I said I don't know!" Shake shouted, finally getting annoyed at Frylock's questions.

"You wait here," Frylock said. "I'm going to talk to Carl." Frylock floated over to his door, and stopped to turn to Shake. "I'll deal with _you_ later."

"Wait, Frylock," Shake said as Frylock turned to leave the room.

"What, Shake?" Frylock asked, extremely annoyed.

"You didn't tell me what your password is," Shake said calmly.

"Fuck you, Shake," Frylock said as he left his room.

* * *

"…And that's when Zim shot me at the slowly exploding explosion," Dib explained to Carl. 

"You're pretty weird, little man," Carl said as Frylock floated into his yard. Dib freaked out once he saw Frylock.

"What is that thing?" Dib shouted, pointing at the floating box of fries.

"Ohh, he's just my annoying neighbor," Carl said casually. "He's only freaky as hell."

"Hey Carl," Frylock said. "Who's this?" Frylock asked as Dib pulled out his camera and took a few pictures of the floating box of fries in front of him. Frylock ignored that Dib was taking snapshots of him.

"I…I…I'm…Dib," Dib said slowly, putting away the camera he took a few seconds to regain his composure. "I'm trying to stop Zim from taking over the world."

"Yeah," Carl said, "he's even more freakier than you."

"Ugh-huh," Frylock said, ignoring Carl's comment. "My name is Frylock," he said to Dib. He extended one of his fries, and waited for Dib to shake it. Dib looked at his fry in amazement. After a few seconds, he shook the fry. Frylock turned his attention towards Carl. "Have you seen Meatwad?"

"Yeah, Fry man," Carl said, "a little green alien and his small green dog took him away."

"WHAT?" Dib and Frylock said at the same time.

"And you just let Ignignot and Err take him away?" Frylock asked, extremely annoyed

"No Fry man," Carl said. "It wasn't those two. These guys had more than two dimensions."

"Zim," Dib said slowly. "I was too late."

"What do you mean, 'too late'?" Frylock asked."

"Don't get him started," Carl said, "I asked him the same question, and he started to tell me his 'frickin life story."

"I have a condensed version," Dib said.

"A condensed version," Carl said, annoyed that he had to sit through Dib's life story. "Why didn't you tell me the condensed version?"

"I don't know," Dib said slowly. "It just didn't occur to me."

"Super," Carl said, rubbing his forehead.

"Dib," Frylock said, "what did you say about being too late."

"Well," Dib started, happy that he finally had an audience, "Zim is an alien who came here to take over the world. He has made many attempts to conquer the planet, but I managed to foil all of his plans. But when I was scavenging through his trash, I found a letter from someone named Master Shake, probably a code name."

"No, that's his real name," Frylock said, interrupting Dib.

"Anyway," Dib said after staring at Frylock for a few seconds, "The letter said that Master Shake was selling a slave for $12.00."

"$12.00!" Frylock shouted as Carl said,

"12.00 bucks! Meat man isn't even worth 2.00."

"Anyway," Dib continued, "I came here as fast as I could. Zim already has a robot servant named GIR, but he's too incompetent to do anything properly. So I figured Zim was trying to find someone who was better."

Carl laughed and said, "Well he made the wrong choice. Meat man _is_ incompetent."

"I hate to agree, but he's right," Frylock said. "Meatwad won't be able to help him. In fact, he might mess things up even more."

"Well that's good," Dib said with a sigh of relief.

"Will they hurt him?" Frylock asked.

"Hopefully," Carl said, laughing.

"I'm not sure," Dib said, rubbing his chin. "Based on what I know about Zim, and I know a lot, he might kill him if he disobeys."

"Ohh, crap," Frylock said, resting one of his fry's on his forehead. "He's a goner." Frylock turned to Carl, and grabbed his shoulders.

"Fry man, what the hell are you doing?" Carl questioned.

"Carl, I really need you to do me a _big_ favor!" Frylock said quickly

"Lemme guess," Carl said, "you want me to go find Meatwad?"

"Yes Carl, please?" Frylock asked. He smiled as he removed his fry's from Carl's shoulders.

"Ahh…let me think…ahhhh…no," Carl said calmly

"Carl please…I'll give you $10.00," Frylock said, pulling out a 10-dollar bill

"Ahhh…no," Carl said after thinking for a few seconds

"How about 20?" Frylock asked, pulling out another 10-dollar bill.

"No," Carl said quickly. "Why don't you go?"

"Because I need to deal with Shake," Frylock said. "Plus, you're the only one with a car. We have the Danger Cart, but with Meatwad gone…it just doesn't work out."

"You'll have to take me," Dib added. "Only I know where Zim's secret base is."

"I'm _not_ going to rescue that 'frickin ball of meat, 'kay," Carl said angrily. "So just forget about it."

"100?" Frylock asked.

"You got yourself a deal," Carl said, snatching up the offer to gain $100.

"Great, good luck you two," Frylock said happily, and then frowned, "I'm going to take care of Shake." Frylock turned around and floated towards the ATHF house.

"Sooo," Dib said slowly, "Are we taking that red car parked in the street," Dib said pointing to Carl's car.

"Yeah, little man," Carl said. "We are."

"Sweet," Dib said happily.

"Yeah," Carl said, rubbing his baldhead. "I gotta call the 'frickin zoo. You wanna come in while you wait."

"Sure," Dib said. "While we're waiting, I can tell you all about Zim and his weaknesses."

"Super," Carl said as they walked into his house.

* * *

Prof. Membrane walked up from the basement, and looked around. He hadn't seen or heard from Dib in a few days, not that he paid any attention. "Gaz, where's your brother?" He asked Gaz, who was playing her Gameslave 2 on the couch. 

"He went to New Jersey to stop Zim from doing something evil," Gaz answered.

"You mean he went into the world all alone?" Prof. Membrane asked. Gaz nodded her head. "Why didn't you go with him?"

"Because I like it when he's gone," Gaz answered. "It's more peaceful around here."

"Ohh well, hopefully this excursion into society will make him LESS INSANE," Pros. Membrane said, shaking his fist. He turned around, and headed back into his lab

* * *

_Time for the low-down, Boxy Brown style. I was mindin my own business, sitting in the back of the alien ship, when Meatwad came back to ask me if I wanted anything. So I says, "Boy, don't you ever take Boxy Brown into some strange alien ship without my permission! I'll rip yer guts out if ya do it again."_

_So he says, "I'm sorry Boxy, I was just wonderin if ya wanted anything."_

_And I says, "Bitch, I will tell you if I want somethin."_

_So he says, "Boxy, I'm sorry, just please, don't rip me guts out."_

_And then this robot shouts, "Rippin out the guts!" And he starts laughin some freaky shit, and then I said,_

"_Boy, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna haf ta bust a cap in your shiny metal ass," and then I pulled out my 9 mil automatic and waved in front of his messed up face._

_And then Meatwad says, "Look out doggy, he's got a gun!"_

_And then that freaky alien at the controls turns around and stares at me. Then he says, "GIR, meat-thing, be quiet! Can't you see ZIM is flying?"_

_And I said, "Boy, you shut up to, before I blow your green head off!" after that, Meatwad and GIR went to the front of the small ship and didn't annoy me any more. Then that messed up waste of cardboard, Dewey, looks at me strangely. I says, "You turn your ugly face around before I burn it off, bitch."

* * *

_

"What's this button do?" Meatwad asked Zim for the tenth time as the Voot Runner flew above the clouds.

"I already told you what it does," Zim said extremely annoyed. He couldn't take much more of this. It was like having a second GIR.

"I'm gonna press it," Meatwad said happily.

"PRESS IT!" GIR shouted, laughing the whole tome. "PRESS IT!"

"NO, DON'T!" Zim shouted flailing his arms. "It'll take down the ship."

"Is that bad?" Meatwad asked as he reached out his meat arm towards the button

"YES," Zim shouted as he hit Meatwad's arm away from the button console. A very miniscule amount of smoke rose from Zim's hand.

"PRESS THE BUTTON! GIR shouted again as he dove into Meatwad. GIR disappeared into Meatwad's meaty…flesh meat.

"I'm gonna press it," Meatwad said happily.

"NO!" Zim shouted. Unfortunately, Zim was too late, as Meatwad's meat arm pressed the button.

"What? Was I not supposed to press it?" Meatwad asked after he pressed the button.

The Voot Runner took an extreme nosedive as the engines turned off. Zim and Meatwad were screaming for their lives, while GIR laughed as he stuck his head out of Meatwad's body. The small Irken craft closed the distance to the ground very quickly as Zim tried everything in his knowledge to restart the engines. After they flew through the clouds, they could see a very large forest, with a large lake. A large highway ran along the forests edge. Zim guessed that they would crash along the edge of the forests, based on the current path of the Voot Runner, that is, if they didn't hit the giant cliff that was in they way. Zim tried to turn the ship to avoid the cliff. He barely clipped the side off the cliff when he flew past it. Because of this, the ship started to barrel roll for a few seconds before Zim could stop it.

"Hey, camp lord," Meatwad asked after he stopped screaming.

"What. IS...IT. MEAT...FILTH?" Zim said, spitting out the last word. "Can't you see that ZIM is bussssy?" He asked, possibly the most annoyed he has ever been in his long life.

"When are we going to get to camp?" Meatwad asked casually, as if they weren't falling towards the ground.

Zim started screaming again as he continued to press any combination of buttons he could think of to restart the engines. He couldn't take it. Meatwad _was_ another GIR. He had to be. There was no other possible explanation.

Zim got the correct combination right before the voot runner slammed into the tree line. Even though the engines were thrown in reverse for only a few seconds, they managed to slow the craft down enough to save the occupants. The Voot Runner crashed along the dirt surface. Luckily, the ship didn't hit any trees as itslidacross the ground. After a few seconds of shaking, the Voot Runner remained motionless.

The window to the Voot Runner fell off, making a small thud noise when it hit the dirt. The window rocked back and forth, and then shattered. Zim and Meatwad crawled out. Zim has a small cut on his forehead, and his wig and both of his contacts fell out. They were lost somewhere in the wreckage. Meatwad was untouched, although, GIR fell out of Meatwad in the process of the crash.

"Boy, that was fun," Meatwad said as Zim found a rock to support himself on. "Let's do that again."

GIR jumped out of a small hole in the side of the craft, and started to run circles around Zim and Meatwad screaming in laughter. "LETS DO IT AGAIN…AGAIN…AGAAAAAIN!" GIR stopped running for a minute to walk over to Zim. GIR grabbed his face and put it right up to his so that he was staring directly into Zim's eyes, drawing confusion from the little Irken, until he shouted, "Can I have a taco?" into Zim's face.

"Ohh yea boy," Meatwad said, rolling up to Zim. "I want a beef supreme. Make it deep rolled, and sauce grilled. I don't eat stuff that isn't sauce rolled...deep grilled…wait…hold on…yea, that's right."

"Hey, who's the asshole that crashed this ship and woke me up?" Came a voice from the bushes. Zim looked up from the rock he was supporting himself on, and saw another strange sight.

* * *

End of chapter three. Evil, aren't I, leaving you with so many unanswered questions. (Two, I think.) Maybe more. 

Next Chapter: We find out who is in the woods, and Carl and Dib get a visit from everyone's favorite 2-D characters.

Ohh, I'm putting Irks Last Hope on hold for a while. I'm just not in the mood to write afighting/action adventure right now.

Posted 1/1/06

Thanks for reading, and a big thanks to everyone who reviewed.


	4. Day of Insanity

Sup again everyone. I have always wondered where Invader Zim takes place. On the episode, Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars, the map shows the origin of the signal from the northeast region of the United States. For my convenience, I'm going to say it's in northwest Ohio…because that's where I live. Heh-heh-heh. If you actually do know where they live, then tell me. TELL ME.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Growls

* * *

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 4: Day of Insanity

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

"Yeah, yeah dog, seven, seven, eleven," Dr. Weird said into his cell phone, with a hat backwards on his hair helmet.

"Ahh, Dr. Weird," Steve said, holding his vial of strange fluid. "Dr. Weird, are we doing anything today?"

"Shut the fuck up Steve!" Dr. Weird shouted. "I'm talking to Snoop Dog!"

"Whatever," Steve said turning around to face the door. "I'm leaving."

* * *

"Hey, who's the asshole that crashed this ship and woke me up?" Came a voice from the bushes. Zim looked up from the rock he was supporting himself on, and saw another strange sight. 

Standing next to the bushes was a small human figure, about ten inches tall. The human seemed to be made out of plastic, and he was wearing pink glitter shoes. He was shirt-less, and he seemed to have some scars on his side.

"Did you idiots hear what I said?" The small doll questioned. "Wait…Meatwad. What the hell! Are you here to finish the job?"

"Ahh, who are you?" Meatwad asked, completely unaware of the identity of the figure before him.

"Don't you remember?" The doll asked. Meatwad tried to remember, but he couldn't think of anyone who matched his description. "You don't remember. Happy Time Harry?"

"Ohh yea, I remember now…wait…you're dead…or immortal," Meatwad said with surprise. "Which one is it?"

"Neither, actually, when that asshole…Shake…chucked me off of that cliff, I landed in a small stream." Happy Time Harry said calmly.

"Chunk of meat," Zim said, still holding onto the rock, "Who…or what, is this? Tell Ziiiiim."

"Oh yeah, dis boy here was my doll." Meatwad said. "He's pretty dark."

"I was just standing here, waiting to die," Happy Time Harry said calmly. "Do you have a problem with that?" As Happy Time Harry said that, he revealed to Zim and GIR his switchblade…hand. Zim eyed the doll with curiosity, confusement, and annoyance. "'Cause if you do, then we'll go right now."

"Heeeyyyy," GIR said walking over to Happy Time Harry. "Wanna play with my piggyyyyy." GIR pulled out a pig from his head compartment, and showed it to Happy Time Harry. During this, Meatwad rolled over to the Voot Runner, and grabbed Dewey, Vanessa, and Boxy brown out of the ship. He put them somewhere where he thought would be safe. Behind a rock.

"Unless you want bacon for dinner, you'll put that pig away," Happy Time Harry said while pointing his knife at GIR.

GIR put the piggy back into the safety of his head and slowly backed away from Happy Time Harry, as Zim said to himself, "Time to leave this FILTHY place." He turned to Meatwad and GIR as they kept their distance from Happy Time Harry, and said to them, "GIR, meat filth, lets go. We must leave this DIRT place. We have a long way to go before we reach the base."

"What about the destroyed magic flying thing," Meatwad said to Zim, pointing to the Voot Runner wreckage.

"Yes, yes, the wreckage," Zim said, rubbing his chin. "We can't leave it here, but we can't drag it back. We'll have to destroy it."

GIR threw his arms into the air screaming in joy. Meatwad, after seeing GIR's happy reaction to this, smiled and laughed. "Hey," Happy Time Harry said, trying to get everyone's attention. Despite his great charm, no one paid any attention to him.

"Hey, camp lord, hey, hey, hey, camp lord, hey, hey, hey, hey, camp lord, hey," Meatwad said quickly, trying to get Zim's attention.

"WHAT?" Zim yelled, clenching his fists.

"You…you should throw Happy Time Harry in…in da wreckage…before you blow it up," Meatad said, pointing to Happy Time Harry.

Happy Time Harry walked up to the three, and said, "You probably don't have the guts to blow me up." Happy Time Harry walked over to the wreckage and jumped in the cockpit. "Do you have what it takes, do you? You think you can do it? C'mon, do it!"

Zim stared at the strange doll. He raised an invisible eyebrow at him, and pulled out a small item from his PAK. "Okay," he muttered as he pressed the Voot Runner's self-destruct button. Zim jumped behind the rock, and GIR followed. Meatwad looked at Happy Time Harry, and then followed Zim and GIR behind the rock.

In a flash of light, the wrecked Voot Runner exploded into hundreds of pieces. Shrapnel destroyed almost everything surrounding the small craft, including the exposed side of the rock that the three were hiding behind. Zim was the first to stick his head up when the noise stopped. He immediately frowned at what he saw. Most of the wreckage was eliminated, but there were still pieces left. Any human that came wondering by could easily see the Irken rubble. And if that wasn't bad enough, there was smoke rising from the still remaining pieces. Meatwad and GIR moved away from the rock. They started messing with the remaining pieces. Throwing them around and such. "Ahh well, it's not like any of these…stupid humans would know what any of it is."

Zim looked around, his mind deep in thought. 'We're still hundreds, if not thousands of miles away from our home, and now my INCREDIBLE Voot Runner is gone,' Zim thought to himself. 'All thanks to that…MEAT…THING. He'd better be worth it.'

"Master," GIR said, walking over to Zim. Zim woke from his thoughts, and looked at his servant. He was covered in parts from the Voot Runner.

"What is it GIR," Zim said unenthusiastically. "Can't you see that ZIM is thinking?"

"Weeeellll," GIR said, "I…"

"Just say it GIR," Zim said, annoyed.

After a short pause, GIR slowly said, "I forgot." Zim sighed while GIR started laughing and running around the remaining wreckage. Meatwad rolled up, and smiled at Zim.

"Hey, ya know what would be fun?" Meatwad asked. Zim narrowed his eyes in anger at Meatwad, but he didn't catch on. "If we jumped in the steam over there," Meatwad said, pointing to the stream that was running along the cliff bottom.

"No," Zim said quickly.

"C'mon, this is camp, and we haven't gone swimming once," Meatwad said, somewhat depressed, and edging his way towards the stream.

"No!" Zim said again, resting against a nearby tree. Zim was starting to wonder if this meat thing knew that he was a slave, and not a camper.

Meatwad looked at the ground sadly, but perked up almost immediately as GIR tapped him on the shoulder and shouted, "You're it!" They began running…and rolling…around the forest as they each traded the 'it' status.

Zim looked up at the sky. It's was almost as if the sky was mimicking his mood. The clouds that they were once flying through, were now darkening. A sign of a rainstorm. Zim stared at the clouds for a few seconds before realizing what danger he was in. There was no ship to protect him, and no place nearby that would accept an Irken invader. The treetops would provide little cover from the acid-like rain. A quick thought shot through Zim. "Wait a minute," Zim said quickly, jumping up from the tree that he was resting on. "We're completely exposed."

Zim summoned Gir to his side, and Meatwad followed. Zim started looking franticly for anything that would protect him. A hollow tree, a large rock formation, anything. GIR noticed his master's actions, and started mimicking him. Meatwad, on the other hand, only observed Zim's actions, until he finally asked, "Hey, what are you doin'?"

"GIR," Zim yelled to his servant, ignoring Meatwad's question. "Go find us some cover," Zim ordered to his servant, pointing at a different part of the forest. "Quickly!"

"Yes my lord," GIR replied in a serious tone. GIR looked up, and activated his jump jets. He flew into the air, igniting the treetops as he flew past them.

"Hey, dat dog knows how to fly!" Meatwad said, pointing to the pillar of smoke left by GIR's jets. Zim was growling in frustration at GIR's stupidity. He calmed down long enough to respond to Meatwad's comment.

"Yes, yes, he does," Zim said almost in a bragging way. "But he will give away my ingenious disguise...oh yeah, and our…position…too."

"What disguise?" Meatwad asked. "Cause you're looking all weird with those big red eyes, and that green skin, and those twitchy antenna things you got there. You're freaky as hell."

"ME," Zim said in defense. "You're the wad of meat…WAIT…MY DISGUISE IS GONE!" Zim shouted. He touched his eye, and felt no contacts in them. He then reached up to feel his hair, but instead, he grabbed his antennae. "My contacts…my hair! Where's my disguise!"

"Ohh yea, those things. I found them in da wreckage, or somethin. They were delicious. Do you have any more, cause they didn't fill me?"

"Why…did you eat my hair?" Zim asked, extremely confused.

"Cause it was good, and nutritious, and healthy. Plus, my body need energy, and hair…it's full of that stuff…I think," Meatwad said happily.

GIR, who had removed his dog disguise while in the air, fell out of the sky, bounced off Zim's head, and fell into Meatwad. "AHHHH, my head!" Zim shouted as he rubbed his head.

GIR jumped out of Meatwad with Zim's disguise on. GIR started running around, shouting, "Whooo, look at me! I'm a real boy!"

"GIR!" Zim shouted. "Give me those things!"

GIR stopped running, and took off the contacts and wig, and said, "You gotta dance for 'em."

Zim reached out, but GIR rolled under his legs, and jumped on the back of Zim's head. He put on the wig and contacts on the back of his head, while Zim was shouting for him to get off. "You're a two headed troll," GIR said, sticking his tongue out in joy.

Zim managed to wrestle his disguise out of GIR's hands, and he quickly put them on. "Now GIR," Zim said, calming himself down. "Did you find anywhere we can hide?"

"Ohh yeah," GIR said slowly. "Yes I did."

"Where?" Zim asked.

"I…I CAN"T REMEMBER!" GIR shouted, laughing. Zim made another, depressing sigh.

"Ohh, I know where we can go," Meatwad said. Zim looked at the small disgusting meatball with a small ray of hope. "There's a cave near here. I was once here when Master Shake told me that I could find a magical tree here. He said that the magical tree would give me a 16" thick-crust meat cravers pizza. I was wonderin' out here for three days, and I still didn't find no tree. So then, Frylock came, and-"

"MEAT THING!" Zim shouted, silencing Meatwad. "What about the cave?"

"Ohh yea, I was gettin' to that. It was over there, next to the tree sticking out of the cliff wall, all jagged-like," Meatwad said, pointing over to a portion of the cliff wall that had a tree trunk jammed on it's side. The tree itself curved up towards the sky. "It's right next to the tree," Meatwad said again.

Zim ran up to the tree, and did indeed find a small cave. He ran inside just as it started to rain. GIR and Meatwad quickly followed, with his dolls in hand. "This evil rain has prolonged our journey home," Zim said, reinstating control over his servants. "We'll stay here until…I don't know…it goes away."

* * *

"Alright," Carl said walking out of his house. "Lets do this thing." 

"It's about time," Dib said, annoyed at how long it took for Carl to take care of the penguins. "Who knows what horrible…evil things Zim has been doing to Meatwad."

"Maybe we can wait a few more minutes," Carl said, laughing.

"I think we should leave now…instead of later," Dib said, rubbing his chin and staring at the sky.

Above the two, a strange, 2-D ship approached them. The small ship entered the atmosphere, and quickly fell towards Carl's house. Dib took noticed almost immediately to the small ship that was heading towards them. He pulled out his camera and started taking pictures of the incoming craft.

"WOW!" Dib exclaimed. "More aliens! This place is…not…normal."

"Don't get your hopes up little man," Carl said, slightly annoyed. "I know these guys."

"You know these aliens?" Dib asked, half happy, half surprised.

"Yeah," Carl said slowly. "They're the biggest assholes next to Shake. They steal and destroy my stuff."

"Why haven't you called the police…or the FBI?" Dib asked.

"They…they stopped, taking my calls…like, long ago," Carl said.

The small ship landed, and two 2-D creatures exited the craft. The larger one, Ignignot, was green, and oddly shaped. The smaller one, Err, was purple, and also oddly shaped. "Hello pathetic humanoids," Ignignot said. "We are your digital rulers. All bow before us."

"Yeah, so bow down losers," Err added.

"Rulers!" Dib shouted. "Not on my watch. You'll never take over the world."

"Ohh, but we will, and we have," Ignignot said.

"Prepare to be enslaved," Err added.

"Listen little man," Carl said. "These two are 'frickin losers from the moon. They don't own crap."

"We could own crap," Ignignot said, "but at the time, we don't feel like it."

"So they're just braggers?" Dib asked.

"I didn't say that," Carl said. "These two will do anything they want, no matter who will get hurt in the process."

"Now, down to the business of your pathetic existence," Ignignot said happily. "Someone said our name, and we need proper retribution for that crime."

"Yeah, so prepare for an ass beatin'," Err added.

"Whoe, ho, ho, ho, hold your horses there," Carl said, waving his hands in front of him. "Before ya go attacking random people, I think you should know, that it was Fry man next door that said your name," Carl said, pointing towards the Frylock's house.

"We're leaving now, to deal with the Fry man, as you call him. But we would not stoop as low as you to call someone by a degrading name," Ignignot said calmly.

"So suck it fatty," Err added.

"We will leave now, but know this," Ignignot said, pointing to Dib. "Your hair is incredibly lame."

"And your heads big too," Err added, laughing.

"My heads not big!" Dib shouted, rubbing his head. "And my hair isn't that bad."

"You keep telling your pathetic self that," Ignignot said, as the two mooninites walked over to Frylock's house, laughing the whole way.

In the distance, Err said while laughing, "F-ing big head."

"What's wrong with them?" Dib asked, confused as to what just happened.

"Don't mind them," Carl said. "They…aren't really…great people."

"I figured," Dib said, a little depressed that even aliens, even if complete assholes, think his head is big.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over that little thing there," Carl said reassuringly. "They'll die someday…and that's what you have to look forward to."

"I…don't think that…helped," Dib said slowly.

"Whatever," Carl said, "Get in the car. We're leaving."

* * *

"Shake!" Frylock shouted as he entered the house. Shake was sitting in the yellowish chair that was sitting in front of the TV. 

"Whad'ya want Frylock?" Shake said without looking away from the TV."

"You sold Meatwad as a slave to some alien!" Frylock shouted. "A human would have been one thing, but an alien! You've gone too far this time, Shake!"

Shake turned his attention away from the TV, and looked at Frylock. "I thought you would have realized that by now, I mean, you _are_ the scientist here."

"Shake," Frylock said quickly, "I have had it up to here with how badly you treat Meatwad. He is a member of this household, and you should treat him be-"

"Frylock…Frylock…Frylock," Shake said, interrupting Frylock. "You know…I did this out of my respect for him," Shake said reassuringly.

"AS HELL!" Frylock shouted. "You have never even showed him one bit of respect since you first met him. Did you know that he tries to make you happy."

"Frylock," Shake said calmly, and was even laughing in a reassuring way. "Don't be this way. You know it was just a joke right. I'm sure he'll learn…some…valuable lesson from this. You'll see. And when he comes back, we can all just laugh this all off."

"Ohh he damn as hell better come back," Frylock said quickly, "or else you'll find yourself six feet under in the cemetery."

"Listen Frylock," Shake said calmly. "I always lik-"

The conversation was cut short as Ignignot and Err jumped through the still broken windows. Frylock and Shake quickly turned their attention towards them. "Hello pathetic food items," Ignignot said as he walked over to the TV.

"To what do I owe this _great_ visit?" Frylock said as Err threw their phone out of the broken window.

"You _should_ feel honored for our incredible visit," Ignignot said calmly. "We are here to exact proper retribution for a horrible crime."

"It was so horrible, that the criminal must be spanked with moon rocks," Err added.

"Ohh really," Frylock said. "And what is this horrible crime?"

"The crime is of a forsaken nature," Ignignot said calmly.

"Are you just going to say how bad the 'crime' was," Shake said, extremely annoyed that everyone was distracting him from his TV viewing pleasure, "or are you actually going to say something important, because my show is on, and I need to watch this."

"I was getting to that cup," Ignignot said with a little annoyance in his voice. "Someone inferior than us said our great name in disrespect, and now we must exact revenge on…" Ignignot waited a few seconds for suspense, and then pointed his 16-bit hand at, "…Frylock."

"You will be beaten with moon rocks," Err added.

"Ohh, really," Frylock said. "And how do you know that I said your name in 'disrespect'."

"We know Frylock. We know lots about what you do," Ignignot said calmly.

"Everything you do," Err added.

"Ohh really," Frylock said.

"Yeah really," Err said.

"We know that the cup sold Meatwad to some aliens, and that their ship just crashed in the forests outside of the town," Ignignot said.

"We saw it when we were coming down," Err added.

Frylcok raised an eyebrow at Ignignot's comment. "Are you serious?" Frylock asked.

"We might be," Ignignot said. "We don't really care is all."

"No one else matters," Err added.

"Hey…you, you guys…leave," Shake said angrily. "You're interrupting my shows. I can't miss this."

"Then behold," Ignignot said, pulling out his laser gun. "Your viewing pleasure will soon be destroyed." Ignignot fired the laser. The very slow moving block of…laser stuff… floated towards the TV.

"When it hits, their will be a void of pleasure in your life," Err added.

"Not if I…move the TV," Shake said as he moved the TV out of the way of the slowly approaching laser.

"You put that right back!" Err shouted.

"Yes, put that right back," Ignignot said annoyed. "Your destruction is at hand…when you put the TV back."

"Would you two get the hell out of here!" Frylock shouted.

"You can't make us Fry man," Ignignot said calmly, "because _we_ control when _we_ leave."

"Plus, " Err added, "We haven't exacted our revenge yet."

"Oh really," Frylock said angrily, ignoring Err's comment. He charged up his eyes for an attack. "Then lets see if this motivates you to leave." He fired his laser eye…weapon things…at Ignignot and Err. They jumped out of the way, and then ran towards the window. They jumped through the window, and headed towards their ship. Frylock followed them out, and watched them board their ship from his front yard.

"You're a fucking nerd," Ignignot said as the ship flew into the sky.

"Freakin' nerds," ERR yelled from the ship.

"Well," Frylock said, floating back to the living room. "That was pointless."

"Frylock," Shake said calmly. The laser block must have broken through the wall, because the TV was back in it's original spot, with a small hole behind it. "I'm trying to watch TV here."

* * *

The end of Chapter four. Can't wait for more, can ya? Heh-heh, well, you'll just have to wait. If you noticed, Zim has more, and better, lines. That is because my friend, Steve (Who will now be referred to as Dr. Frag) knows Zim and GIR's lines better than I do. I'm better with the ATHF lines. The next few chapters will now be extremely better. Every chapter has been getting longer and longer. 

Next Chapter: Carl and Dib find the crash, and Zim receives help from an unlikely source.

Posted 1/4/06


	5. More Freaking Aliens!

Gentleman…prepare for…CHAPTER FIVE! Sorry for the long wait, but I've been working on other pieces lately.

* * *

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 5: More Freaking Aliens!

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy. But we aren't concerned with the castle today, because Dr. Weird and Steve went somewhere else.

They were in a lovely city. A city filled with happy people. But…the two weren't _in_ the city, they were a mile below it. The Raccoon City Umbrella Research Center, aka the Hive.

"Gentlemen…behold," Dr. Weird said in a serious tone. "We are re-opening the Hive!" Dr. Weird shook his fist in the air after he said this.

"Ahh, Dr. Weird," Steve said, trying to interrupt Dr. Weird's soon-to-be horrible mistake. "Are you sure we should…ya know…be doin' this? 'Cause ya know what happened the last time."

"Shut the fuck up Steve," Dr. Weird shouted, pointing his finger at his lab assistant. "Prof. Membrane told me this is REAL SCIENCE!"

"Well as long asProf. Membrane says so," Steve said sarcastically.

"Well…he did!" Dr. Weird shouted as he pressed the button to open the Hive security bulkhead doors.

The doors started to open as zombies started pouring out from the doors. "I'm outta here," Steve said, running off down the corridor.

"Gentleman behold, we are re-closing the Hive!" Dr. Weird quickly shouted as the zombies piled onto him and started eating his flesh.

* * *

It was still raining outside of the cave where Zim, GIR, and Meatwad were waiting. Zim was pacing the floor, extremely annoyed. "AHHH, My…Voot Runner is…AHHH…gone, and it's raining, and that…meat…FILTH…was a complete waste of time!" Zim shouted to himself. 

Meatwad noticed Zim's unhappy mood, so he decided to try to cheer him up. He rolled up to Zim, and started talking as a calm, happy music started playing out of nowhere. "Listen camp lord. It's okay that dat everything isn't going your way. I mean…it probably isn't. You just have to think of all the good things, like…when the rain stops, a beautiful rainbow will appear, and it'll make everything better. People will be happy to see you, and you'll make some money, and gain social status, and get some pizza, and make your neighbors happy, and…get some…magical talking bunny's, and…some magical talking cats and other animals that I can't seem to remember right now. It just seems like that would be what you would get, because you already have a magical talking dog. But, the point is, that you will always be happy if you just try to see the bright side of everything." As soon as Meatwad stopped talking, the strange, soft music seemed to stop.

Zim stared at Meatwad, somewhat confused as to what he was even talking about, while GIR slowly said, "That was nice."

Zim continued to march around the cave muttering angrily to himself, as Meatwad and GIR talked about their favorite TV shows. This proceeded for about a half-an-hour before Zim finally started to calm down. Zim regained control of himself and decided to say something that would…hopefully…make Meatwad more obedient. Maybe, with a little conditioning, Meatwad would be a decent servant. He found a small rock that was inside the cave, and jumped on it to make himself a little taller. He got Meatwad and GIR's short attention, and cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to talk, but before he could say anything, the three were engulfed in a bright, white light.

The next thing the three saw were some bright red lasers that were circling them. Zim looked around the room and saw two large, and incredibly strange aliens. One, the shorter, fatter, orange looking one, was smiling evilly, while the other, skinny taller, green one was just smiling normally. The green one resembled an Irken almost, if he didn't have all those strange spikes, or if he had some antenna…or even arms and legs. Come to think of it, he didn't look like an Irken at all. Zim looked out one of the two windows in the room. They must have been in space, because he could see the Earth in the distance.

"Look Emory," Oglethorpe said casually in his Dutch accent. "Our prisoners have arrived." He turned his attention to the three in the laser circle prisons." You tell us all that you know about Earth so that we can capture it…and do stuff to it. And don't try to escape. Those lasers will cut you down."

"CAPTURE!" Zim shouted. "You can't capture it!"

"And vhy is that little green thing," Oglethorpe said, almost laughing. "You cannot escape our mighty prison."

"Prison or not, Earth is already claimed as a planet marked for capture by the Irken Armada," Zim said, removing his impressive disguise.

"Vee don't know vhat you're talking about…Irken…pfhh." Oglethorpe finally noticed something he should have noticed a few moments earlier. "Wait…EMORY," Oglethorpe shouted. "He isn't human! Our plan is foiled before it even began."

"I…I thought he looked strange," Emory said slowly.

"Well duh, Emory," Oglethorpe said angrily. "He's a freaking alien. He isn't human." Oglethorpe looked at the other two, the strange robot, and the ball of meat. "None of zhem are human! Now how vill vee conquer Earth! Our plan is ruined!"

"I already told you that you _can't_ conquer Earth!" Zim shouted angrily, waving his fist in the air.

"Ohh, and vhy is zhat Mr. Alien," Oglethorpe said mockingly, stretching out the last word.

"I _already_ told you why you can't conquer it," Zim said, extremely annoyed.

"Dude, I…I think he said that already," Emory said calmly.

"I know Emory," Oglethorpe said, annoyed. "I have ears. I can hear him."

"Hey, is this camp?" Meatwad asked rolling across the lasers, prompting an immediate remark from both Zim and Oglethorpe.

"ZEH RIIIIIINGS!" Oglethorpe shouted. "You should be DEEEEEAAD!"

"The rings don't work," Zim said to himself. He pushed GIR through the rings. Nothing happened, except GIR took that as a sign to start running around the room screaming like a madman.

Meatwad looked at the laser rings, and then looked back at the two aliens. "Dem rings…dem rings don't work, 'cause I done went through 'em, and they didn't do nothin'. Dey's crap. You might wanna talk to a customer service rep about that."

During this, GIR jumped on Zims head, screaming something. "GIR!" Zim shouted, "Get off my head!"

"But I'm boooooored," GIR said sadly.

"Then…I don't know…go push some buttons or something," Zim said unenthusiastically.

"BUTTONS!" GIR shouted as he ran off into the ship to cause unimaginable havoc.

"_Ja_," Oglethorpe said slowly, looking at the floor, as if the small robot didn't say anything. "Vell, zhey were supposed to work."

"But…they…they didn't…again," Emory said calmly.

" I…_know_, Emory," Oglethorpe said angrily, as GIR's voice faded out in the distance. "Zhey never work, I though you talked to zeh installer about those?"

"I did," Emory said, raising his voice, "and he said that…that he couldn't do anything with it because we already used it to take over a planet, and that we might as well throw it out the window."

"Vell why didn't you remove it and throw it out zeh window zhen?" Oglethorpe said angrily.

"Because _you_ said to keep it there," Emory said. "_You_ said we could use it again, and that it would work."

"Well this time you remove it," Oglethorpe said angrily. "How many times must we go through with this before you realize zhat I don't know what's going on?"

"I…I thought you said…that…you _knew_ what was going on?" Emory asked.

"_Ja_," Oglethorpe said casually. "Of cooouuurse I know vwhat's going on, Emory. I _am_ zeh all knowing leader."

"But…you just said you don't know what's going on," Emory said, somewhat annoyed and confused.

"_Nein_," Oglethorpe said casually. "I know what I said Emory. You don't need to repeat it to me."

The whole time that the two were arguing, Zim got a good chance to take a look around the room. He immediately noticed a control panel, and walked over to it. He observed all of the bright buttons and switches that were labeled in a dialect he couldn't understand. He had an idea, but it all rested on a complete guess. "Hey, alien guys," Zim said, gaining the attention of Oglethorpe and Emory.

"Vhat is it?" Oglethorpe asked. "Can't you zee zhat vee are having an important discussion here?"

"Yeah," Zim said slowly. "Which one of these buttons activates the teleporter and sends us anywhere we want?"

"Ohh, zhat button is located right over zere," Oglethorpe said, pointing his spikes at the control panel. "Let me do it, you might mess it up and destroy our great technology." Oglethorpe moved Zim out of the way and told messed with the buttons. "Vere do you vount to go?" He asked. Zim told him where his house was, and Oglethorpe said, "_Ja_, stand over zere, in zeh teleporter circle." Zim and Meatwad stood within the circle as Oglethorpe prepared to teleport them away. Zim looked around, but didn't see GIR anywhere.

"GIR!" Zim shouted. GIR's head came out of one of the wall panels with some wires in his mouth.

"They have colored noodles here," GIR said, swallowing the wires.

"GIR, come here," Zim ordered, after which, GIR quickly ran to the circle. Oglethorpe pressed the switch, and the three disappeared in a flash of light. After which, Oglethorpe noticed what he just did, and shouted, "DAMMIIIIIIIIT, THEY ESCAAAAAAAPED!"

"Well you let them out," Emory said calmly.

"_Ja_," Oglethorpe said to himself. "Vell maybe vee should find someone else who vould be villing to help us."

"I don't think anyone would help us capture a planet," Emory said sadly.

"Vell someone vill," Oglethorpe said, looking at who would be perfect to gain knowledge from.

"Why don't we just cut our losses, before we get any, and just go home?" Emory asked calmly.

"_Nein_!" Oglethorpe shouted as he pressed the button. "Vee just got some new prisoners!"

* * *

"…and I would've had perfect evidence if the counselor didn't get on the ship with those aliens," Dib said, hitting his hand with his fist. 

"I don't freaking care," Carl said for the third time.

"But this is important stuff Carl," Did said, annoyed. "We have to know our enemy before we can beat him."

"I ain't beatin' no one, 'kay," Carl said quickly. "I'm just gettin' Meatwad back so I can get $100."

"You don't care that Zims and alien, do you?" Dib asked, somewhat annoyed and downhearted.

"No, no I don't," Carl said quickly.

Dib sighed, and stared out the window. The forests along the highway were extensive. But then…he noticed something…something unusual. Something that told the paranormal investigator in him to explore. A pillar of smoke was coming through the treetops. Then, Dib _knew_ what the smoke was about, as GIR came flying over the highway.

* * *

Sitting in the truck going in the opposite direction, were two middle-aged men. They both were listening to country music, when the passenger pointed at the flying dog in the air. "Jimmy," the man said. "Take a look over there. It's an alien dog." 

"Shoot, Mark," Jimmy said shaking his head. "That ain't no alien dog. It's one of them new flyin' dogs. I've heard all about 'em."

"Really?" Mark asked as he pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket. "Well I'll be darned. The world sure is gettin' all advanced."

* * *

"Carl!" Dib shouted, grabbing Carl's hairy shoulder. "Stop!" 

The car swerved in the road as Carl tried to regain control from the shock of Dib's sudden outburst. Carl managed to pull over to the side of the road without causing too much of a disturbance in the traffic. "Why did you frickin' do that?" Carl shouted at Dib.

"Zim's in the woods!" Dib shouted. "He has to be! There's no other reason why GIR would be flying around a busy highway!"

"He could just be as fricken' dumb as hell like everyone else," Carl said as raindrops started to hit the windshield.

"Rain!" Dib shouted exuberantly. "Water is his weakness. He's vulnerable. We can get him."

"Not if he stays in his ship," Carl said, eyeing the rain clouds.

"Yes, but…if we can…get him out of his ship…then we can beat him," Dib said slowly.

"I told you," Carl said, pointing his finger at Dib. "I ain't beatin' no frickin' green alien."

"Fine…" Dib said slowly, "We won't _beat _him, but we have to at least save Meatwad, right?"

"Yes we do," Carl said quickly, and then quietly added to himself, "Because those girls love big tippers."

"What was that?" Dib asked. "What girls?"

"Ehh, you wouldn't know," Carl said, reaching into his back seat to pick up an umbrella.

"I probably don't," Dib said, getting out of the car. He didn't grab an umbrella, mostly because he didn't care if he got wet. It made him feel superior to Zim when he was soaked in normal water, when Zim's skin would burn under it. That, and Carl only had one umbrella. The two proceeded into the woods, and it didn't take them very long to find the crashed Voot runner. At the least, it took them ten minutes to find the pieces that were lying everywhere. No one could miss this. The two started searching the area for any sign of footprints, but the rain had started to wash away all of their tracks. Plus, Dib was having a hard time paying attention to the search when all that Irken technology was just strewn about on the forest floor, and Carl…didn't really care.

Carl found a nice dry spot under a large tree, and started looking for any two-foot high giant balls of meat that might be in the area. He was getting pretty annoyed at Dib's constant muttering as he picked up and examined the various pieces of junk lying around the ground.

Dib looked around for Carl. He saw him standing under a tree, not really doing much. He was about to say something when he noticed a bright, white light out of the corner of his eye. He turned, and noticed something he hadn't before. There was a cave along the cliff wall. "How did I not notice that," Dib said to himself as he started to run over to the cave. He yelled for Carl to follow, and, reluctantly, Carl followed Dib.

Dib stood at the cave entrance as Carl slowly caught up with him. "Now Zim, Dib said sadistically happy, stretching out Zim's name. "It's time to put an end to your destructive reign of…destructive…reigny reign."

"Reigny? Is that even a freakin' word?" Carl asked as Dib stared into the cave after waiting a few moments for Zim's reply.

Dib started to run into the cave, expecting to finally capture Zim, and end his Earth-menacing reign of destructive terror. Unfortunately for Dib, and Carl's wallet, the cave was empty. Although, as Carl pointed out, there were meat lines everywhere, which was a sure-fire indication that Meatwad was once here.

Annoyed with his results, Carl walked back to his car, while Dib trudged sullenly back with him. As the two were walking back, the rain seemed to stop, and the sun showed its face over the water-soaked lands. The two reached the car, and Carl became very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, pissed off at what he saw. Dib just stared at the metallic carnage before him.

Carl's car was a wreck. The entire roof of the car was gone. It looked like someone ripped it right off the metal. The hood was ripped off and thrown on the ground. The wheels were melted, and the doors were ripped off and thrown into the highway. The rear axel was sticking out of the motor, and the stereo system was scattered across the back seats. The car's interior was soaked from all the rain. The steering wheel became the new Frisbee for two very 2-D aliens.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FREAKIN' CAR?" Carl shouted in pure rage at the two standing by his car.

"We were merely trying to figure out what made your _primitive_ Earth cars run," Ignignot said defensively, yet, uncaringly. He tossed the steering wheel to Err.

"Yeah, and we also wanted a new Frisbee," Err added laughing.

"I am going to so frikin' kill you little bastards!" Carl shouted as Dib slowly slid away from Carl.

"And what makes you think you can just _kill_ us? Ignignot said calmly.

"Ohh, uhhh, I don't know. I think I'll just…ahhh…BASH YOUR FUCKING SKULLS IN WITH MY FISTS!" Carl shouted, as he ran towards Ignignot and Err. The two Mooninites ran towards their ship and jumped in. The ship almost immediately lifted off the ground.

"You couldn't hurt us Carl," Igningnot said calmly as the ship floated into space. "We're far too superior to even get hurt by your pathetic punches."

"Yeah fatty," Err said, laughing. "We're immune. Enjoy you're new car."

Carl and Dib watched as the ship disappeared into the sky. Carl rubbed his forehead, trying to clear his head so he could think clearly. Dib started to stare in amazement, as everyone on the highway seemed to ignore the aliens that once laid waste to Carl's car…and how no one seemed to care that two people were stranded by the side of the road with a destroyed car. "Wonderful," Carl said after a few minutes of thinking.

"So," Dib said slowly and carefully, trying not to set off the volcano. "What are we going to do?"

"I have no freaking idea," Carl said.

The two stood there, unable to do much as they stared at the once usable car. Out of nowhere, they heard police sirens. They both turned to see a police car pull up behind the wreckage.

"Somebody does care," Dib said enthusiastically. The highway patrolman stepped out of his car, and slowly walked over to the destroyed car.

"Good afternoon sir," the officer said to Carl. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Yeah, it is a good afternoon there, and…ugh…I was already on the side of the road," Carl said, somewhat annoyed.

"I pulled you over because you seem to be a litter bug," The officer said.

"What are you talkin' about?" Carl asked, slightly confused.

"Do you see that construction zone over there?" The officer asked. Carl looked over the room, and nodded his head. "Do you enjoy throwing your car doors on every construction zone you find? I'm going to have to write you up for that."

"You have got to be freaking kidding me," Carl almost shouted.

"Sir, I'm just doin' my job, don't get angry with me," The officer said motioning for him to calm down.

"You wanna, maybe frikin' help us?" Carl asked angrily.

"Don't get angry with me sir!" The officer said, pulling out his pepper spray. "Don't make me use this."

"Okay, okay, calm do-" Carl began to say, before he was interrupted when the officer sprayed a _large_ amount of pepper spray into his eyes. Carl shouted in pain as he started to fall over. As he was falling though, Carl's hand accidentally touched the officer's arm.

The cop quickly handcuffed Carl, and Dib said in protest, "Wait officer, you don't understan-" Dib was cut-off as he too got a nice amount of pepper spray, and was then handcuffed. The officer ran to his car to call backup. Dib could hear him from his car.

"Station, this officer Parker. I have two violent suspects and I need backup. One is a large, hairy, bald, man in his fifties."

"I'm 44," Carl said from the ground.

"The other is small boy with a large head."

"My head's not big," Dib said from the wet cement. There was a short pause, which must have been a reply from the station. Before the cop received his backup, Carl and Dib were engulfed in a white light…

* * *

Far above the earth, the small ship left for a distant body. Two creatures manned this small craft. The tallest of the two was looking at Earth, flipping it off. "Take this, Earth," Ignignot said calmly. "You'll take my punishment, and you'll take it well." 

"Now let's throw eggs at 'em," Err said, picking up a carton of eggs. He opened the carton to reveal that it was empty. "Hey, what the fuck!" Err shouted. "We're out of eggs!"

"Impossible," Ignignot said, turning his attention to Err. "We just got eggs on Earth."

"No we didn't," Err said, throwing the empty carton on the ground. "We only insulted the losers of the planet."

"Yes, Err, I know that," Ignignot said, turning to look at the planet. "Then we'll go back, and we'll get those eggs."

* * *

There ya go. Hope you enjoyed it. Now review. Poor Carl, and poor Dib. Ohh, and I don't know Oglethorpe's real accent. I'm just saying it's Dutch…it might be, it might not be. I'm not the only one who is writing this. My friends throw me small bits and scenes. The whole cop thing was my friend's idea. It started with the small question, 'What would happen if a cop came by?' The cop was a cross between Super Troopers, and the large amount of people in Invader Zim who daon't care. 

Next chapter: Carl and Dib discover how to get to Zim's house, and Zim shows off his new 'servant' to the Tallest.

C'mon people, review. It'll make me write the next chapter faster. Those of you who put this on their alert list, and you know who you are, review please. Please. I enjoy your comments on my work. It keeps me going.

Posted 1/13/06


	6. And We Come to an End

Sup again for fun. Sorry for the looong wait. I hope that a reeeeeeealy long chapter will make up for it.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

* * *

Zim's New Slave  
By Sanoon

Chapter 6: And We Come to an End

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

Dr. Weird and Steve were working on installing a _huge_ TV for their viewing pleasure. The TV itself was as large as the garage door that it was placed in front of. Steve was connecting the wires into the wall while Dr. Weird stared at the TV, occasionally barking orders to Steve. After a while, the TV was hooked up. Dr. Weird turned on the TV, but it only displayed static. Dr. Weird shouted at Steve to go and change the direction of the satellite dish.

"Ugh, Dr. Weird," Steve started. "Don't you think that storm might have something to do with the satellite connection?"

"Impossible!" Dr. Weird shouted. "Change the direction."

Steve walked over to a switch on the wall that controlled the satellite dish. Steve started to turn it, as Dr. Weird watched the screen. It remained fuzzy, but now Dr. Weird could hear a voice come from it. "DAMMIIIIIIIIT, ZHEY ESCAAAAAAAPED!" A German sounding voice shouted.

"Turn it some more!" Dr. Weird shouted at Steve.

Steve turned the satellite dish, and Dr. Weird heard another voice come from the TV, but there was still static. "So, the fate of Earth is decided," a dark voice said in what seemed to be a room full of hundreds of people. "Earth shall be-"

"Turn it some more!" Dr. Weird shouted.

Steve turned the dish once more, and this time, the static was removed. The screen showed a large purpleish room. There was a window in the back that showed that place must have been in space. There were two tall, green aliens standing in a center platform. Both were drinking some sort of soft drink. They seemed to just be standing there, blankly looking into space. One was wearing red armor and had red eyes. The other had purple armor, and purple eyes.

"Hey, Red," Purple whispered, poking Red's side and pointing to at Dr. Weird. "Is that one of those humans Zim keeps talking about?" Red looked at the screen, and just stared in amazement and confusement at the strange alien on their screen. "Hey, human, who are you?"

Dr. Weird growled in anger and shouted, "These aren't my shows!"

"How were you able to contact us?" Red asked

"Yeah," Purple added. "This is a secure network."

"Hey, Dr. Weird," Steve said as he walked over to the TV. "What show is this?"

"Gentleman, behold!" Dr. Weird shouted, pointing at the TV. "I've discovered aliens!"

* * *

In a flash of white light, three figures stood in front of a once empty yard. Zim took in a large breath, and exhaled a large sigh of relief. He looked around the cul-de-sac. Never before had he been so happy to be 'home.' GIR started running around the yard screaming in joy as Meatwad rolled up next to Zim 

"Hey, camp lord, is this camp?"

"Yes meat thing," Zim said calmly, sighing in relief, "this is camp."

"Alright!" Meatwad shouted in joy. "We're finally here. Can we go swimming?"

"No," Zim quickly replied. "Now go ins-" Zim started to say, but stopped when he noticed his front door was open. His immediate though was Dib. Dib must have gotten into the base while he was gone. Then Zim noticed something else that he was surprised he didn't notice before. A strange, purple, 2-D craft was parked next to his house. Zim started to slowly walk towards the front door, and then realized he wasn't wearing his disguise, and ran into the house. Meatwad and GIR followed.

Zim screamed in horror at what he saw. Someone had vandalized his house when he was gone. Someone had spray painted all over the walls, and spray painted the word _fart_ everywhere. Actually, the vandals were still in the _process_ of vandalizing Zim's house. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE HOUSE OF ZIM?" Zim shouted at the two strange creatures inside his house.

"Look Err, the primitive owners of this pathetic house," Ignignot said. "They've come to admire our great work."

Zim screamed in anger as he ordered his computer to chase off the intruders. With a growl of a response from the computer, mechanical arms dropped from the ceilings, and tried to grab the 2-D intruders. Unfortunately for Zim, Ignignot and Err already left through the front door, and jumped into the ship. It's not that the arms couldn't grab onto the 2-D intruders, but that they were too fast for the robot arms. They had had plenty of practice running away when they tried to mess with Frylock.

Zim followed them outside, as they jumped into their 2-D ship. "You suck," Ignignot shouted as the ship flew into the air.

"You suck!" Err repeated. Zim watched the ship disappear into the clouds. He quickly remembered that he didn't have his disguise on, and ran back into the house.

After a few minutes of observing what those 2-D aliens did to his house, he ordered the computer to clean up the house. He glanced over at GIR and Meatwad, and shook his head in disgust. He walked over to the lift, and descended into the lower levels.

* * *

"TV TIME!" GIR shouted as he plopped down in front of the TV. Meatwad rolled up and observed the big screen TV. 

"Cool, what'r we watchin'?" Meatwad asked.

"The Scary Monkey Show!" GIR shouted back with a large smile on his face.

"Oh," Meatwad sighed. "Dat show…isn't as good as some others." Meatwad rolled over to the remote, and started pressing a few of the buttons, causing the TV to start flashing through channels. "Ahh, dis is a good show." Meatwad said as he found the channel he wanted.

"This is your left, that's your left. This is your left. That's your left!" The puppet on the screen sang. GIR watched the puppet dance and started to imitate what he was doing. "This is your right, that's your right. This is your right. That's your right!"

"Dis is some good TV," Meatwad said happily.

"This is your left, that's your left. That is your left. That's your left," the puppet on the TV continued to sing. "This is your right, that's your right. This is your right. You're gonna die!"

"Aww, it's already over," Meatwad moaned.

"I love that show," GIR announced happily.

The end table in the living room rose from the floor, as a lift containing Zim rose from the lower levels. He observed the two in the room for a second, and pointed at Meatwad. "Meat-thing," he shouted. "It's time for me to display you to my great leaders."

"Okay, is this goin' to be fun?" Meatwad asked. "Because we need more fun for my fun meter. Guess where it is right now?"

"Quite!" Zim shouted. "Come, before the Tallests think something happened to me."

"78," Meatwad said. "It's out of 100, just so you know."

Meatwad rolled over onto the lift, creating a meat trail that GIR immediately licked up. GIR crawled his way to the lift, making sure that he got every little particle of meat on the floor.

"Mmm, tastes like rotten garbage!" GIR shouted, almost laughing.

"No GIR," Zim said as GIR stood up. "You need to stay up here and guard the house."

GIR turned red for a few seconds as he saluted and shouted, "Yes my lord!"

* * *

In a bright flash of light, Carl and Dib materialized out of the air. No longer on the wet pavement, they were now on a very reflective and shiny floor. They were lying on their stomachs, the handcuffs still attached. Dib and Carl looked up from the floor, and saw two aliens in front of them. Dib laid there with his mouth gaping, while Carl just stared in anger and annoyance. 

"Hello dudes," Oglethorpe said in a friendly way, even though the true sincerity of his greeting was given away by his smirk.

"More aliens!" Dib shouted in surprise and excitement, almost like a small boy would on Christmas morning.

"Hey, you guys look uncomfortable in zose cuffs," Oglethorpe said after watching Dib squirm around on the floor. "Vould you like us to remove zhem?"

"Yes!" Carl shouted, "Un-cuff us!"

"Emory, un-cuff zhem," Oglethorpe ordered.

"But I thought the plan was to-"

"Quiet Emory!" Oglethorpe shouted. "Now un-cuff zhem!"

"Alright," Emory sighed. He walked over to Carl and Dib and looked at the handcuffs. "How do you want me to remove them? I can't bend metal."

"Vell zhen, use zeh laser, Emory," Oglethorpe said angrily. "Do I need to do everything myself?"

"Fine, just calm down," Emory said calmly as he moved over to a button console.

"I am calm. It is you who isn't calm," Oglethorpe snapped as Emory pressed a button that activated a laser beam that cut off the handcuffs.

Dib and Carl stood up and rubbed their wrists as Dib started to say, "Thanks strange-"

"EMORY!" Oglethorpe shouted. "ZHERE IS A MONSTER IN ZEH ROOM! It's right zhere, on zhat boys shoulders! Can't you see it! It's huge!"

"I…I think that's his head man," Emory replied calmly.

"My head isn't big!" Dib shouted

"Vell sorry dude," Oglethorpe said calmly. "It looked like a freaking monster to me."

"I saw it," Emory said calmly.

"Shut up Emory!" Oglethorpe shouted. "No one asked you."

"All right," Carl mumbled. "Can I get a little question in here?"

"Sure, dude, vhat is it?" Oglethorpe asked calmly

"Why did you freaking abduct us?" Carl asked, almost on the verge of shouting in anger.

"Oh right. Zeh 'Abduction'. You are going to help us take over zeh Earth, because vee vount to. Emory, subdue zhem."

"If you want me to subdue them, then why did you have me remove the handcuffs?" Emory asked over Dib's protests.

"Because it was part of zeh plan. Don't question my motives."

"So, the plan was to abduct them, free them, and then capture them?"

"Yes…NO! Emory, you're trying to mess with me again!"

"Say," Dib said, trying to stop their great conversation, "How did you get us here?"

"Vell, vee used our amazing teleporter technology. It is so advanced zhat vee don't even understand it."

"Teleporter technology?" Dib repeated.

"Yes, vee can teleport anyone anywhere. Do you vount us to see?"

"Well…" Dib started until he got an idea, "…yes. Can you send us to my house?"

"Of course I can," Oglethorpe replied. "Vhat do you think I am? Stupid? Vell, I am not. You just vatch. Vhere is your house?"

"Dude, I think this is deja-vu," Emory whispered to Oglethorpe.

"Quiet Emory!" Oglethorpe shouted. "Stay out of my intellectual conversation." Dib told Oglethorpe where his house was, and Oglethorpe told them to stand in the teleporter circle. In a bright flash of light, Dib and Carl disappeared.

"Look what ya' did," Emory shouted. "Once again, we lost the prisoners."

"Vhat? Vhat do you…ZEH PRISONERS! ZHEY ESCAPED!"

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Emory joked.

"Quiet Emory! Zhis is all your fault. You had everyzing to do with zhis."

* * *

Zim pressed a few buttons on his console, until the big black screen turned on, revealing two very tall figures that resembled Zim. Both had a drink and some snacks "This is a TV," Meatwad shouted in surprise. "Boy, dis thing is huge!" 

"Hello my Tallests," Zim said happily.

"What is it now Zim?" Red growled angrily.

"I have captured one of the primitive life forms of this planet," Zim announced happily, moving the platform that Meatwad was sitting on into view. The Tallests gasped and screamed at the sight of the thing before them.

"Howdy," Meatwad said casually

"WHAT IS THAT THING?" Purple shouted, dropping his drink and its contents onto the floor.

"This primitive Earth creature has now been captured by Zim," Zim announced proudly. "Soon, the rest of the creatures of this world will be under Irken control."

"Is that thing made entirely out of meat?" Red asked.

"Yeah, I am," Meatwad answered. "Frylock told me that I don't have any bones, or organs, or…hey camp lord, can I change the channel.

"NO" Zim shouted

"Well fine," Meatwad said angrily. "Ya don't have to yell at me, damn."

"Zim, how many of the creatures there are made out of food?" Red asked, as both of the Tallests stared at Meatwad hungrily.

"I don't kn-"

"There's Frylock, and Shake…and me…but, we are the only ones I know of, 'cause Shake keeps on saying that I'm the last meat monster in the world, and that my race was wiped into extinction, and that we deserved it. Frylock keeps on telling me that Master Shake is lying, and I believe him, 'cause I ain't useless."

"So, you're the only one?" Red asked, somewhat disappointed.

"Yup," Meatwad said happily. "I am the one…staring Keanu Reeves."

"Aren't you unbelievably amazed at my amazing Invader skills my Tallests?" Zim asked, shaking his fists wildly into the air.

"I think we should tell him," Purple whispered to Red. Red nodded and smiled broadly.

"Zim, I think it's time we told you the truth about your mission," Purple said happily, yet, annoyed at the same time.

"Hey, how do you change the channel? 'Cause this is boring," Meatwad said

"At first, I though you might have actually succeeded for once," Red said calmly. "But now, this seems to be another one of your many horrible failures."

"I've seen this show before, I'm changin' it," Meatwad said calmly.

"Everything that you've gone through, the mission, your invader status, it's all a…"

Red never got to finish what he was saying as Meatwad started pressing a few of the buttons on the console, causing it to turn off the transmission between Zim and the Tallests. Zim stared at the monitor for a few seconds, his eyes wider than they have ever been before. He slowly turned his head towards Meatwad. "What, was I not supposed to do that?" He asked, somewhat concerned.

Zim started screaming as loud as he could. He had never been this mad before. Annoyed, yes, but mad, no. The Tallests were about to tell him something about his mission. Maybe it was some new information that he could have used to help conquer it. The doorbell rang. Even through Zim's screaming, they could still hear it. Zim stopped screaming, but still kept shaking in anger, and looked at a screen that displayed who was at the door. It was Dib and…that one fat human from New Jersey.

"Hey," Meatwad said happily as he rolled closer to the moniter. "I know dat boy. He's Carl. He's kinda my friend."

Zim screamed as he grabbed Meatwad and ran towards the lift. His hands started to burn once he grabbed him, but he didn't care. He had a way to get rid of the meat thing, and he was going to get rid of it no matter what he had to do.

* * *

In a flash of light, Carl and Dib were standing outside of a somewhat normal looking house. "Well," Carl said in an unimpressed tone, "that was fun. Now we can get back to the frickin' job. Where are we anyway?" 

"Don't worry Carl," Dib said triumphantly. "I told that alien where to send us. This is my house." Dib said pointing to the house that they were standing in front of. "Zim's house is down the street." Dib was now pointing at a house in the distance that easily stood out from the houses around it.

"All right, lets do this," Carl said as he started walking towards Zim's house.

"Not yet Carl!" Dib shouted as he jumped in front of him. "We have to get some supplies from my house first." Dib ran over to the door, opened it, and ran in. He stuck his head out after a few seconds and asked, "Aren't you coming?"

"Sure, whatever," Carl mumbled as he headed towards the house.

"Ah, son," came Prof. Membrane's voice. "I'm glad you're finally home. Did you have fun with your little friend in New Jersey?"

"I had this amazing adventure dad!" Dib shouted in joy. "I'll tell you later because I'm not finished yet. We still have to go to Zim's house and rescue someone."

"More like a thing really," Carl corrected.

"Who's this?" Prof. Membrane asked.

"Hey, I'm Carl. Nice ta' meet ya'."

"Hmm," Prof Membrane hummed, examining Carl. "He seems to have little grammar skills."

"Hey!"

"Where did you find him, son?" Prof. Membrane asked.

"I met him in New Jersey," Dib said as he was running up the stairs, leaving Carl unattended as Prof. Membrane started to pound him with questions.

"So, what's your field of occupation?"

"I work out'a the home," Carl answered.

"Interesting," Prof. Membrane whispered to himself.

"It's a great job," Carl continued. "It, ya know, puts food on the table."

"I see," Prof Membrane said, nodding his head slowly. "What exactly is it that you do?"

"I ahh, I check…" Carl started, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to think of a way to make his occupation seem more advanced than what it was. Luckily, he was saved from the question.

"I'm ready," Dib said as he slid down the stairway railing. He wasn't wearing his usual shirt and coat anymore. He was wearing some sort od strange looking ninja outfit. It was pure black, and he also seemed to have night vision goggles. Carl quickly glanced out the windows to see if the sun was still up. Sure enough, it was, and Carl decided to ignore it.

"Be back before dinner," Prof Membrane said to Dib as he ran to the front door. Carl walked behind him.

"I will," Dib said as he darted out the door. When the two got to the sidewalk, Dib turned to Carl and pulled out a second outfit. "You'll need to be wearing this if we are going to sneak into Zim's base."

"What, are you kidding?" Carl laughed. "I ain't wearin' that. I don't need to dress up to kick some ass. I can do that on my own."

"But Zim has gnomes that guard his house."

"I ain't scared of no freaking gnomes. Now lets go." The two proceeded to Zim's base. They both were silent during the entire trip.

Zim's house approached on the horizon. It easily stood out from the houses around it. "Okay Carl," Dib said, stopping in front of Zim's fence. "We have to deactivate the gnomes and find some sort of secret entrance to Zim's base."

"Screw that little man," Carl said as he entered the yard. "We're going through the front door." Dib watched with wide eyes as Carl walked across the yard, untouched. Dib stared at the gnomes as Carl started banging on the door. "Hey!" Carl shouted. "Open this damn door now, or I'm opening it for you!"

Dib shook his head and walked into the yard. The gnomes still didn't move. They remained motionless. When Dib reached the door, Carl tried the doorbell. Dib stood on the doorstep, occasionally glancing at the gnomes to see if they were going to try to get rid of them.

The door to Zim's house flew open, and standing there in the doorway was Zim, holding Meatwad in his arms. It must have been hurting him, because smoke was rising from Zim's arms. "We're here to rescue Meatwad, Zim," Dib shouted at Zim. "Your evil-" Dib was interrupted by Zim when he threw Meatwad at Carl, which caused him to fall backwards.

"Take this food!" Zim shouted. "This freakish creature no longer serves a purpose for me! Now leave!" Zim slammed the door shut, and left Dib standing there with a dazed look of confusement. Carl was screaming until Meatwad rolled off of him. Carl stood up and rubbed off his shirt.

Dib stared at Meatwad for a few seconds, speechless. A giant ball of meat. He couldn't believe his eyes. The floating box of fries was hard enough to believe. "Alright Meat man," Carl spoke up. "We're takin' you home."

"Does that mean that camp is over?" Meatwad asked.

"Yes," Carl said quickly. "Now lets go. We have to find a charter bus to take us back to New Jersey.

The door to the house opened up. GIR stood in the doorway. He walked over to Meatwad and shoved his head next to Meatwad's. "COME BACK SOOOOOOOOON!" GIR shouted.

GIR walked backwards into the house, waving to Meatwad the whole time. "I'll come back next year," Meatwad said as GIR closed the door. He looked at the other two and said, "I like camp. Dis whole trip was fun.

Sirens could be heard in the distance as Carl, Dib and Meatwad walked (and rolled) over to the sidewalk as a cop car came into view. It skidded to a halt as the two officers inside jumped out and aimed their guns at Carl.

"Police!" One of the officers shouted. "Get on the ground!"

"What's goin' on?" Carl asked as one of the officers pulled out a tazer gun. Before anyone could do anything, the officer fired the weapon at Carl, effectively paralyzing him. Carl fell over as the officers ran over to cuff him. Dib and Meatwad stepped out of the way as the police jumped on top of Carl. "You're under arrest for, littering in a construction zone, Assaulting an officer, and evading arrest," the officer shouted, ignoring Carl's screams as he threw him into the squad car.

The officer that was still standing next to Dib held him above the ground by the scythe hair, and asked his partner, "Hey…aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…doesn't that kid have an…aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh…arrest warrant too?"

"No, he's clean," the officer replied, stepping into his car. "Now let's get this scumbag back to the station so we can send him back to New Jersey." The officer dropped Dib and stumbled towards the cop car. He got in, and the car sped off into the horizon. Dib stood up and stared at the spot that the car once was. He had to take a minute to sort out what had just happened from Zim's door to Carl getting arrested. Dib scratched his head, and glanced back at Zim's house. He sighed and started to walk sullenly back to his own house. His chance to finally catch Zim, thanks to the help of an adult who believed him, had just been dashed when the cops took him away.

Meatwad noticed Dib start to leave and decided to follow him. Camp was over, and now he needed to go home. He seemed like he knew his way around. He started to follow him and quickly caught up to him. "Hey, do you know how to get to New Jersey?" Meatwad asked.

The kid glanced at him, and said, "Yeah, I can help. My dad has a teleporter that we can use to take you to your house.

* * *

Shake was sitting on the chair, watching a very old movie. He was disturbed from his viewing pleasure when he heard a knocking on the door. He angrily got up and went to open the door. He opened it, and looked around. "Hey Shake!" Came an all to familiar voice. Shake slammed the door shut, and went back to his chair. 

"Shake," came Frylock's voice from his room. "Who's at the door?"

"It's just Meatwad," Shake replied. "Nothing to get your hopes up about."

Frylock instantly bolted out of his room and examined the living room. "Where is he?" Frylock asked quickly after he didn't see Meatwad.

"He's outside," Shake said unenthusiastically. "Why don't you kiss him and wish for a new car."

Frylock opened up the door, and sure enough, there was Meatwad. "Hey Frylock," Meatwad greeted happily.

"Meatwad!" Frylock shouted in joy. "Your back!"

"Of course I'm back," Meatwad replied, somewhat confused at Frylock's statement. "I just went to camp."

"…Of course you did Meatwad," Frylock said slowly. "Where's Carl?"

"Oh yeah, da cops arrested him because he done broke the law," Meatwad replied.

"I guess I better bail him out then," Frylock replied unhappily. He grabbed some bail money from his room and left for the police station.

* * *

That was long, wasn't it? Sorry for the looooooong wait. That is the end of the story, but there will still be one more very short chapter. Thanks for reading the longest chapter yet, and thank you for those of you who will leave any reviews. Thanks all. 


	7. Public Service Announcment

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Authors note – Any use of the word 'you' is a direct reference to the reader, aka you. 'You' are standing at the very end of Carl's backyard. (The same view angle that they show his backyard from in the series)

* * *

"Welcome, everyone, to our first PSA," Frylock started, floating in Carl's pool. Shake and Dib were also in the pool. Meatwad was sitting next to the cooler. Zim was standing next to the house, trying to keep his distance from the pool…and Meatwad. Zim's recently repaired Voot Runner was parked at the side of Carl's house. All of them were directing their attention towards you. "During this little trip, some serious issues have been mocked for your entertainment. Issues like slavery, littering, and improper police procedure to name a few." 

"Lets address the first issue so I can go back inside," Shake said, somewhat annoyed. "I'm missing some valuable TV time. And The Living Assistant Dracula won't be on again soon."

"Slavery: We all know it's bad," Frylock continued as if Shake hadn't interrupted him.

"Eh," Zim mumbled. "Slavery. We Irkens cast down lower life forms and force them to obey us. Anything that isn't Irken is our slave."

"Ohh, you're sure as hell not saying anything for the rest of this PSA," Frylock almost shouted.

"Hey Zim," Dib spoke up, "why don't you just go back to Irk and leave us alone? Not like you're ever going to conquer this planet with your stupid…Irken…stuff."

"Quiet Dib-stink," Zim immediately retorted. "You should feel grateful to be in my presence without bowing." Dib's reaction to this was to splash water at Zim, which he quickly dodged and stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey, hey, hey," Meatwad said, trying to get everyone else's attention. "Someone mentioned littering. Who littered?"

"Carl did, Meatwad," Frylock answered.

"It wasn't Carl," Dib said. "It was those 2-D aliens. They destroyed his car and littered. Carl got blamed for it."

"Blah-blah-blah," Shake blurted out. "Whoever did it will surely get punished. That's the lesson. You can't do anything without getting in trouble. Life is full of punishment."

"Shut up Shake," Frylock said angrily. "The third issue is about the improper display of the police force."

"What's 'improper' mean? Meatwad asked.

"It's the opposite of proper Meatwad," Shake said angrily, and then added, "So stupid."

"The police that have been viewed in this story were extremely out of line, and have shown improper care towards others without trial," Frylock continued. The glass door opened up, and Carl walked out, an angry frown on his face.

"Hey-hey-hey-hey, buddies," Carl said, faking a laugh. "Can I ask you what you guys are doin' in my pool…without my permission…again?"

"Oh, hey Carl," Meatwad shouted in joy. "I though you done got arrested?"

"I frickin' did, Meat man," Carl said in an annoyed tone. He turned to Frylock. "And while we're on the subject there, would you mind tellin' me when you plan on payin' me for rescuing that ball of meat?"

"Oh, well Carl…" Frylock said slowly.

"Ya don't have the money, do you?" Carl asked.

"Not until next week," Frylock said. "Then I'll give you that $100."

"$100," Carl repeated. "Hell no. I have a car repair bill to pay. You now owe me $1000 dollars."

"$1000!" Frylock shouted. Zim laughed at Frylock's dismay.

"Hey, you should be glad that I'm not frickin' suing you," Carl said. "The only reason I'm not doin' that is because the police won't listen to me."

"Pitiful human…thing…fries. You should have never messed with Zim!" Zim gloated.

"You shut up, frickin' green midget," Carl said angrily. "This is all your frickin' fault." Zim only reply was a laugh that sounded like he was hacking something up.

Dib got out of Carl's pool and dried himself off. "Well, remember what we talked about today," Frylock said, and then turned to Shake. "Lets go Shake. You too Meatwad." The three left Carl's yard and went to their house. Dib followed. Zim was still laughing by the side of Carl's house, as GIR jumped out of the pool.

"Aww, what the hell's this?" Carl asked to himself as the robot ran towards the cooler.

Zim stopped laughing and looked at his robot. "GIR, stop messing around. It's time for us to go home." GIR grabbed the cooler, and ran towards the Voot Runner. Zim followed.

Carl watched the robot take his cooler, and commented, "Yeah, go ahead. Friggen take it." Carl looked around his yard. It was littered with food wrappers and empty cans. "Wonderful," Carl said as he rubbed his forehead, trying to calm himself down.

* * *

Now, the story truly is complete. If you're unsatisfied with the shortness of the story, and want more infernal confrontation between the characters, then never fear. I am making a sequel. Although it'll be a while before I even start on it. Ehh, reviews will help me write it faster. 


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